How to ramble .....

I've recently read a really funny article about rambling and laughed out loud at some of the comments - thought you might like to share it ..... (it's quite scary how true some of this is .....)

One of the unintended consequences of cutbacks in rail services has been the relentless rise in rambling. When there are few trains to spot, dull people start walking around aimlessly and inevitably start rambling.

Ramblers have boiled sweets in flavours so repulsive you'd rather eat your own leg in an emergency situation. They wear high tech anoraks that wick heat and moisture away from their bodies and release it into the noses of other ramblers. Ramblers have big boots. This is to stop them falling over when they've had their second pint of real ale at the end of their epic four mile ramble.

Ramblers travel in packs and are always led by a man or woman with a beard and a big knobbly stick. He's known as Ramblo. Ramblers have maps in perspex holders (so they won't get soaked by all the moisture being wicked away from their bodies). With these detailed maps and large compasses, they can work out that they're three hundred yards from the car park.

Ramblers engage in conversation when they walk, and it's no surprise that they tend to ramble. In any pack of ramblers you'll have someone who knows a bit about birds, someone who knows a bit about plants, and someone who knows a bit about soils. The upshot of this is that you can't move five yards without one of them piping up with a half hour lecture on the fascinating clays that everyone's big boots are currently sinking into.

Ramblers love unspoilt countryside, and sometimes you can spot great packs of brightly coloured ramblers grinding through the country getting the maximum enjoyment from it. Ramblers think that the best way of seeing the country is to walk directly behind some achingly dull cagouled idiot for six hours.

You can always tell a rambler because they're dressed for the Himalayas. They're the ones carrying the emergency bivouac, Primus stove and distress flares on the Thames towpath. Long distance paths do a great service to society by keeping ramblers in remote parts of the country for extended periods and well away from normal people.